Monday, 22 October 2012

I'm still here.


I've been more than a little MIA again... As you know from my last 'proper' post, I have been struggling a lot with my depression. And then, I've also been on my period and my pain has been ridiculously bad again (even my Nefopam hasn't touched it this time). It's beginning to ease a little now, both the pain and my black hole of despair, but I'm not out of the darkness yet.

I went to the doctors about it all a few days after my post and I have another appointment for next week. I don't really want to go in to great depths with it right now but it's just so you all know I've gotten some help and I'm still here and OK. I've had a few days of blocking the world out and being out of contact with people and I'm starting to feel back to myself again now. I don't think I (let alone anyone else) realised how low I had actually gotten.

I've been working on the blog a little tonight (as you can see, this is the third post up tonight!), and I've also added some new links in to the endometriosis library down on the right hand side. I have quite a bit of catching up to do but I'm trying to work on it again as much as possible.

I've had some truly lovely messages on here, Twitter, Facebook and via email recently - and I'm slowly working at responding to them all now. But, they've made me see that this blog is important and to carry on. You all give me a much needed boost when I think I am wasting my time and (little) energy.

As for a little recap about what I've been up to recently, well, not too much because of the pain I've been in. Me and the boy nipped in to town on Friday afternoon, but I managed one shop before I had to go and sit down - like an old woman! Last weekend we went away for a few days to the seaside and it really helped to clear my head. I was extremely down when we got back but while we were away I managed to get a little relief from my incessant thoughts. The weekend before we went out for dinner and then to the theatre to see Diary of a Football Nobody as it's based on the boys favourite team, Notts County. It was lovely to get out together for a date night and to see a play. I also spent the Saturday shopping with my mama and we went to a little vintage fair. It was also my handsome nephews 13th birthday party so I got to dress up, once again, and party on down with the kids. Well, not really, but it was fun to get out.

So, I have been out and about a bit. It's when I'm stuck in with my thoughts that it gets me.

Anyway, I just thought I'd update you all, and stop by and say hello since I haven't in such a long time! I will be working on the blog this week and updating things so keep your eyes peeled. And, thank you for sticking with me.

S.

4 comments:

  1. You're amazing. Thank you for sharing. It's truly crazy how you can connect and relate to someone that you've never even met. But I hear you and I feel you - loud on clear - on everything you're saying. I am in the same boat myself, with a few other challenges as well. Thank you for reaching out - I know it can be tough. You are inspiring and supporting many people in this world, you have no idea. Take that thought and put a smile on your face today. Remember, you can do anything as long as you breathe [deeply and fully I say! And sometimes it's perfectly awesome to SIGH IT OUT]. Much love, CJ

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  2. You're amazing. Thank you for sharing. It's truly crazy how you can connect and relate to someone that you've never even met. But I hear you and I feel you - loud on clear - on everything you're saying. I am in the same boat myself, with a few other challenges as well. Thank you for reaching out - I know it can be tough. You are inspiring and supporting many people in this world, you have no idea. Take that thought and put a smile on your face today. Remember, you can do anything as long as you breathe [deeply and fully I say! And sometimes it's perfectly awesome to SIGH IT OUT]. Much love, CJ

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry about the double post. On my mobile and it got screwy.

    www.caseyjoloos.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are a beautiful and brave lady! I came across a book/audio that helped me immensely in dealing with crazy thoughts (endo & non endo related)......it actually helped to change my life by understanding and it brings me great peace. The book is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and you can search on YouTube with the same title for the audio. I can highly recommend it :)

    ReplyDelete

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