Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Somewhere in the clouds.
I've been on a bit of a roller coaster since my last 'me' post a week ago. I felt so depressed I didn't want to continue and then over the days, my period eased off, the pain became more manageable again and with that, the cloud lifted a little.
On Friday, I pushed myself to achieve the one goal I'd set myself - to get out in to town. So me and the boy had a wander around the shops and, after spending a little too much money on pretty things, we had a bite to eat. It was so lovely to get out and apart from feeling a bit rough later on in the afternoon, I managed fine. I think I just pushed myself a little too far. After a day of recuperating on Saturday, I managed to get out on Sunday also. We had a bit of a random day... We went to an indoor car boot, then on to an antiques centre where we had a spot of lunch. After that we went to a garden centre where we found robins and cats living inside, and then, finally, to the pet shop where we were greeted by frisky rabbits, all before heading back to the boys house for dinner. It felt like I was almost back to normal. I spent Monday recovering again but apart from being pretty exhausted, I'm don't think I'm doing too badly.
I'm quite pleased with myself at how much progress I've made over the past week. Me and the boy even managed to have some intimate time (finally) and that felt, well, great! I'm still on the same tablets because I don't feel good enough to come off anything yet (I tried to come off my Ibuprofen on Sunday but was in too much pain without it), but hopefully I'll be able to reduce those soon. The bladder problems are back again unfortunately and that is getting to me. If I go to the toilet for a wee, there's either hardly anything there or it hurts, and then, probably because of this, I'm wetting myself. It's frustrating and embarrassing because this should be fixed and I don't know why it's not been.
My moods are still very up and down. I spent most of last night crying and thinking negative thoughts. I've found that happens every time I'm on my own now. I guess I can't expect everything to be magically fixed so it's just something I've got to work at.
I'm having a bit of a catch up with everything now I'm feeling a bit better, so, I'm hoping to get working on some new posts on here, contact everyone that's been in touch with me and then get on with the list of things that are mounting up at home... I just need to find some energy first.