Apologies for being a little MIA on my posts recently. I tend to sit down and write at night time when Hunter has gone to sleep but my hands have been so painful that I've not been able to do any typing. In fact my pain levels have been pretty high all over my body recently and I've been waking up in pain which hasn't happened for a while. I'm just hoping that my body isn't getting used to the Amitriptyline because I really don't want to have to up the dosage this soon. Along with the pain, I've also been feeling completely exhausted and I can't think straight most of the time. Even writing this, I'm having trouble thinking what the next word should be!
On the plus side, my ridiculously long period seems to have stopped (HURRAH!) and because of this my skin has had some time to breath and has cleared a little (BIG HURRAH!). I had what I think is a 'normal' period, time wise, however it was really painful and very heavy. I'm still waiting to see how everything goes now I'm off my pill but so far, so... OK! It has only been 1 month so I'm not going to shout about anything just yet!
The weather was beautiful recently so we've been out and about quite a bit which has been really nice. I'm really appreciating the outdoors at the moment. I hate days where I'm in too much pain to leave the house and, on those days, I really have to wrestle hard with the 'mama guilt' and try and find some way of making it up to Hunter. I think it's only going to get harder as he gets older and wants to do more and more.
Talking of our little man, he turned 18 months last week and with that we reached 18 months of breastfeeding. I'm so proud of our teamwork. With every month that passes, I can't believe how much he has grown and the new things he is learning. He absolutely amazes us every day. Last week we went to his playgroup and I was talking to a lady with an 8 week old baby boy. I thought Hunter was going to jump on him but instead he went over and stroked the babies face in the sweetest way. My ovaries absolutely flipped out and ever since then I've been thinking of babies. Not so much that I want one as such, but it seems to be the time of year where everyone is announcing their pregnancies and ladies who had babies at the same time as me are pregnant again. I don't know whether we would be able to have another baby or not and I've been feeling a little - not really sure what word to use to describe it, just a bit 'blah' over it all. I don't think I want another baby really but I sometimes feel that's just my head thinking that, while my heart cries out for another. Sometimes I can feel the same sadness I felt during our pre-IVF days creeping in. It's a really odd place this in-between. Give it another year though and I'm sure I'll know where I stand with these feelings, because this time last year I was adamant I never wanted another baby ever ever again.
Whilst I've been a bit quiet on the posting front, I've been doing little bits and bobs in the background: The Celebrities with Endometriosis post has had yet another update since Daisy Ridley recently opened up about her battle with endometriosis. The Endometriosis Library is also being updated almost constantly at the moment so be sure to check that out should you want to find any other endo blogs or support resources. I've also been updating the sites pins on Pinterest and it's Bloglovin' profile, where you can follow not only EMLWY, but lot's of other blogs.
Also, as you might have seen from my last post, I set up a new Instagram account for the blog (you can find me over @emlwy although my personal Instagram is still @thatgrrlshireen). I've only had it a few weeks now but I'm really unsure as to whether to keep it or not! It takes a good while to get yourself established on Instagram and my personal account is growing nicely now, whereas the new account is going to take some time to get a good amount of followers on it. I'm also wondering what the point of it really is! I mean, I've always been really open about my endometriosis and the whole point of this blog is to raise awareness of it - however, creating a separate Instagram account kind of goes against all of that and squirrels the awareness away to only those who already know about the disease! I'm following a lot more endo related accounts through it but my hearts not really in it. I really want to get the word out and if it means I lose a few followers here and there on my personal account then, so what!? So, apologies if you've followed me on there but, I might (and I say might because I haven't fully decided yet) remove it soon and just start to post a bit more on my personal account. I don't really know why I haven't done that already. I'm having such a 'DOH!' moment! *slaps forehead with palm of hand* Suggestions on a postcard please kiddo's!
Anyway, this turned in to a pretty long post considering I was at a bit of a loss over what to write about! Hopefully I'll find some clarity soon and be able to get some more writing done.
Take care in the meantime.